by Joe F.
I am a 32-year-old man who has been dealing with chronic pain condition caused by a severe spine injury. For ten years I have been dependent on, and then developed an addicted relationship to, opiates, which progressed to full-blown IV drug abuse of cocaine as well as the needle itself (a lot of drugs folks –I was pulling a Joplin/Hendrix/Belushi on myself but couldn’t stop). I knew about ibogaine because I enjoy study of ethnobotany and had experimented with all manner of psychedelics– except Ibogaine.
I arrived in Mexico on May 3rd or so and met a Dr Martin and his assistant Ana. I was given a full physical in a modern clinic (and was pre-medicated with anti-emetic and anxiety meds). I was then given 3 very large white capsules. Or about 1.8 grams of pharmaceutical (Italian made) ibogaine (remember I am in Mexico so its not scheduled.)
I was led to a quite room with a nice soft bed and given eye patches and earplugs. Upon lying down I heard what I call the “carrier wave” which was very reminiscent of a DMT experience but with a lower volume. Sounds from outside became very distant and the sounds swirled together, coalescing into strange “partial memories”.
Ibogaine auditory hallucinations are unique: the vibration of the carrier wave courses through you, infusing your body with power (I felt golden)-like I was given a new fine body made of light and noise. The trip unfolds much in the same way a dream incorporates outside noises. I began to see glittering lights with truly vivid greens and powerful red hues. I Must warn all who even think of taking Ibogaine that whatever you do –don’t move your head– the compound completely distorts the body’s sense of proprioception and this could lead to an awful nausea and vertigo –you will feel like you are falling– and you probably are!
I knew from experience that this was no LSD, DMT, Ketamine. It was like every receptor in my brain discharged in increasingly complex oscillations. It was a cosmic fire. Mu, then kappa, then NMDA, all receptors firing and colliding in a symphony of monoamines. The visions or “I-dreams” began as beautiful faces came from the darkness scintillating again red and green blowing kisses, winking, and mouthing words I could not hear. Drifting by like butterflies. Tactile sensations are almost excruciatingly sensitive. -Ibogaine made my whole body feel like it had rubbed raw -every nerve ending free! One face exploded from the darkness and began to speak in a dream like telepathy. It began to morph and showed me my ancestry through the ages as images projected the faces of my mother and father, their mothers and fathers, my brother and so on back into the depths of time to the first female. Images of mans creation, fantastic revelatory and religious themes abound in this place.
Then I became acutely aware that Ibogaine was not a drug but a spirit a being or disembodied deity. I felt as if it was something much older than mankind was entering my body. However, I was not afraid, because the spirit was benevolent. I was given the sense of a somewhat reptilian being, surrounded by smells from the rainforest, both wildly alive and ancient beyond comprehension.
I was shown my brain in 3 dimensions and a powerful electric charge was pulsating at the cerebellum and began to rise up through my lower mesolimbic “lizard brain”. At this point I saw three-dimensional, rotational, OMNI-MAX, visions of my own mind/brain. I felt a deep connection and understanding of my diseased state, and the connections that were harmful. A hand came into view, and began to “operate” the “bad” connections, this occurred, as the carrier wave grew more intense. Eventually the hand (Ibogaine) grabbed my poor dissociated brain, and crushed it spewing out an iridescent red (blood) across my field of “vision” This lasted what seemed like 4-5 minutes but in real time, it was about 4 hours. This red pool cleared my vision and I could recall my own conception and see it as if looking through a microscope. (Perhaps a rebirth?)
When tripping on Ibogaine you eventually arrive in a very large dark space. And instead of seeing what is in front of you see what is also behind you. A feeling of 360-degree vision can be quite beneficial when you don’t want to turn your head!
Images, smells feelings, remembered emotions, come fast and furious as if bubbling up from an old well. Your childhood is prominent in these I-visions. It truly is like psychotherapy because you are removed from the painfulness of bad memories and can look at them in a new way.
My experience lasted for about 72 hours.
The first twelve will knock your socks off spiritually. It is truly unlike any other drug I have taken, and at the receptor level. I feel about Ibogaine the way I do about DMT: these are not playthings, nor are they really drugs in a traditional sense. These are gifts from-god— to plant– to us.
It’s been a couple of months now. I don’t smoke, drink, or take opiates anymore. I don’t want them. I have a new body through the power of this “experience.” A soul-felt thank you to Dr. Martin and his assistant Ana. They were so kind, I opened my heart and soul to them, and they healed it with Ibogaine.